I can't get off to things I find attractive. When I masturbate, I masturbate to revolting, painful, hardcore porn. I enjoy this and don't think it's a problem in and of itself. The problem comes in when I'm in a good mood and also want to fap, because I know that watching a man fuck a woman's face will indeed get me off, but it will also make my lighthearted spirit dissipate. The problem comes in when I can't masturbate to amateur couples enjoying realistic sex because it just makes me very sad (that it's not me in that situation). The problem comes in when I read/watch literature/films that turn me on on a variety of levels, visceral and cerebral, and can't imagine bringing myself off with that passion.
Masturbation doesn't come naturally to me. Sexual interest, hungry longing, all of that is me, but I didn't masturbate until I was nineteen(!). Even then it was just something I thought I should finally do. It doesn't make me happier, less horny, lower-strung, it's just an activity. I remember reading sex scenes in books when I was about thirteen, and feeling my cunt get hot and my clit throb... and that's about it. I read and reread these passages, enjoying how they made me feel, but that's where it stopped. (Sometimes I tried to put my hand down my pants quickly to see if I could feel myself throb with my fingers, but I guess it was an electron-like problem of observation because I never was able to catch myself.) Mentally, I've been enmeshed in the world of pornography for years-- I bow down in humble thanks, internet-- but my problem is that I have been trained by convenience (and possibly circumstance) to react Pavlovianly regarding arousal. Watching eighteen men come on a woman's face (I felt my clit get hard just writing that) turned out to be a convenient way to get off, so I used it; but I've never been a person to just explore myself and masturbate to anything interesting, so eventually I became utterly reliant on the context of hardcore degrading porn to get off. If this were only a part of my repertoire I would take no issue with it, but as of now it's worrisome to me. I also wonder: Do I just have no curiosity to explore myself, or is it an actual aversion? I just feel lazy, because laying there for fifteen minutes squishing my g-spot around and feeling no change in arousal is fucking boring.
Just as I never received any positive attention from the opposite sex at the age where it would have done me good and helped me consider the possibility that I might be attractive to someone, now my insane intimacy problems prevent me from letting someone else make me come. How have I had sex with [x] people without experiencing an orgasm? Well fucked if I know, I enjoy myself anyway. Some have tried, but after a while I sort of wave them off and we resume having fun. I'm concerned that I may not be *able* to come with another human being, just as at this point I am not *able* to come from things other than hardcore porn that arouse me.
Hmmmmmmm.
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10/30/07(Tue)03:32:45 No.43910155
i conquered this same hurdle with present girlfriend. keep your chin up - even if you're an incredible stud (like me) some girls are just that hard to get off.
Oral sex - Don't go down on the clitoris. Tease the vulva and VAGINA and persistently back off. Try stimulating the clitoris by applying your effort to everything around it, i.e., don't pull it out of its hood.
Sex - experimentation and persistence is key. Try slowing down - a lot - even so that you're barely moving. The persistent deep VAGINAl stimulation, coupled with clitoral pressure from your pubic bone, was the first method that worked with my girl.
With this one, she's come more and more easily, even getting off a few times with some toys, rough fucking, all kinds of positions - but it started slow, just managing with all the right stuff in some slow, grinding missionary. there's a mental block about orgasm - psycological aversion to losing control, unpleasant association, or feeling inadequate or "defective". Once you manage it once, it'll just get easier and easier.
I've got an ex who would cum 'till she blacked out, for hours and hours on end. You can probably get most girls to that point with practice.
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